Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
