That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You've changed since you got that strap on
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
