He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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