The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
