Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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