don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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