I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
