hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
