i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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