Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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