I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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