yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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