I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
