Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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