were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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