I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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