bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
