My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
