Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
