You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
