You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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