We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
