4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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