so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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