You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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