people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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