she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
