Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
