How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
