toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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