At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
