Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
