I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
