'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
