You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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