D3 body, D1 cock
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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