You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
