I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
