I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
