I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
