No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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