Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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