he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
