i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
