I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
