We're like a lot better than the average bears
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
