...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
