what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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