I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
