i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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