Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
