Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's like iHOP with fire
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
