Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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